There’s a difference between taking your sweet time and severely allowing fear and uncertainty engulf your goals and visions. Being completely candid, this project took WAY too long to get off the ground and I can fully credit the latter.
Insecurity, purpose, focus, self-doubt, the opinion of others…you name it, I let it stop me. And you know what’s funny about all of that? NONE of these things are tangible. In actuality, most are non-existent lies that we feed to ourselves. Crazy right?
The motto set for this year was reckless; reckless meaning without caution to fear, vulnerability, rejection, uncertainty, failure. It only took me five months into 2016, but here I am, finally taking my own advice, encompassing that motto. It’s time to get sh*t done.
The reality is, the reservations were inevitable. I deal with fear and vulnerability as much as the next person. Newsflash: WE ALL DO. But the other reality is, we have a choice -- to succumb to these inhibitions, or to silence them. For me, silencing them meant identifying the barriers, asking myself the why questions and unapologetically accepting my own answers.
Barrier number one: what’s the purpose and why? I’m at a point in my life where purposeless missions seem futile, so this question was important and necessary. It took me a long time to answer even though all along, I think I knew the answer, but continually let insecurity stop me at the door.
I was dealing with “they.” What will they think? Will they even care? What if they don’t care?
The answer is: WHO cares!? Who are they? How much time do they have to be worrying about you. More on “they” later ‘cuz that’s a whole ‘nother post, but perhaps they might be an imaginary audience you’ve created in your head…or haters with way too much time on their hands.
Either way, they are not relevant to you. They are not your supporters. And therefore ain’t nobody got time for they.
So, back to purpose… after identifying that, it was simple. I want this. I need this. I finally told myself, Justine, it's OKAY to do this for you. It's okay to fulfill your want for a creative outlet and a place to express yourself. That, my friend, is valid enough. I strive on conversation and community and believe we can all benefit from that.
I truly believe that visions and ideas are gifts from God that cannot manifest without action, and while 100% of the time we can't see the end, or where it will go, simply starting is all that we need. Sometimes the rest is not for us to figure out, but to unveil itself in due time.
Can I be honest? I have no idea where this thing could go. The fine-tuning is a work in progress. Will my mom be the only person reading it? It's a possibility. What I do know is that should something grow from this little page, my hope is that it's encouraging, inspiring, authentic, supportive, open-minded and of course, enjoyable!
The important part to me right now though is that I’m here. Finished (or in this case, started) is better than perfect.
*No pressure, but if ya love the kid and know what’s right in your heart, you’ll subscribe below. No but for real, leave those emails!*